Money and Relationships: Financial Self-Care Centers Your Values

Our lives are defined by our relationships. Family, friends, and partners bring joy, meaning, and, inevitably, some challenges along the way, too — no more so when money gets thrown into the mix. When 60% of Americans don’t regularly talk about money, there isn’t always a lot of common language and plenty of room for misunderstanding when talking about finances.  

Knowing your values and living them through self-care helps you manage money conversations with others.  

Early money beliefs

When the flight attendant warns you (“In the unlikely event of an emergency…”) to put on your oxygen mask first, they are flagging the importance of self-care. While some societal norms encourage women to sacrifice in their care for others, self-care is critical for our health, enjoyment, and finances.  

Money is emotionally complicated. Challenging feelings can prevent people from managing money effectively for their dreams and aspirations; our behavior with and around money may not always feel like a conscious choice. How we were raised, the messages we received from our family and society, and life events and challenges all go about molding our money perspectives. 

Money and your partner

Money is often the invisible “third person” in a relationship. Financial compatibility can involve personal habits around spending, saving, and taking financial risks. Conflict in these areas can be a harbinger of challenges down the road.   

Talking about money and financial expectations is a way to get clarity on the financial side of a partnership. One way to approach conversations about money with your partner is to think about shared financial stewardship – how will you combine your wealth to build an authentic shared life? Financial stewardship equates to a holistic perspective of wealth management as it includes the basics of savings, spending, and investment and branches out to include things like insurance, taxes, estate planning, philanthropy, and legacy giving.  

Family and financial boundaries

When it comes to family, financial relationships might involve children, and in later years, they could involve supporting parents. The “sandwich generation” must take care of children and parents simultaneously. 

Set financial expectations and boundaries with children. Share your values about money, including setting boundaries around money that will be spent.  

When managing finances with and for aging parents, remind them they are in control, but you are still there to help. Provide support or help find a financial advisor to assist in estate planning, budgeting, and protection against identity theft and fraud, which older people are particularly vulnerable to.  

A relationship with YOU!

“Personal” financial well-being isn’t just personal. Having a relationship with yourself and knowing your values and financial boundaries are important first steps to managing your money in relationships. Financial advisors like those at Brighton Jones can support deepening your relationship with money and your financial goals, helping with financial planning, and making money work for you. From there, creating healthy financial relationships with the people you love, including romantic partners and family members, is possible.  

The value of WLRL to You

Aligning your money with your values is precisely what the Women Living a Richer Life client community is about. We want to help you understand what matters to you and how to get there financially. Our articles, events, and connections to Brighton Jones financial advisors can help you gain the wisdom to discover – and live – your richest life. The Women Living a Richer Life 4-part series on money and relationships is a great way to get started!

Here’s how Brighton Jones can help:

Brighton Jones is one of the country’s fastest-growing wealth management firms, with over $24 billion in assets under advisement, helping more than 4,000 clients live a richer life daily. Their advisors have intimate knowledge of corporate benefits at America’s largest companies. They are proud to help their clients navigate the trickiest components of their benefit offerings, whether minimizing tax liabilities, cash flow management, or planning around their equity compensation.